Interior stylist, writer, content creator, mother, wife. These are just some of the hats that Africa Daley-Clarke wears on a daily basis.
We first got to know Africa via her online space The Vitamin D Project, where she shares an endearing and unflinchingly honest view of being this while still holding space to be that, the realities of family life, and the undulations of motherhood.
In celebration of Mother’s Day, we spoke to Africa about the inspirational figures that have – and continue – to shape the person she is today, plus the responsibilities of role modelling for her own children.
Role Models
(& Motherhood) with
Africa Daley-Clarke
Who is Africa Daley-Clarke? How would you describe yourself?
I’m still working that out myself but having fun in the process. Much of what I currently do is a happy accident, with much of what I plan to do stifled away until the timing is right, so it always feels a bit strange describing myself.
Growing up, who were your role models? And how did they influence you?
I don’t remember having specific role models, but my maternal Grandma always lived her life in a way that I couldn’t wait to emulate. She toed the line between being a fiercely passionate individual – headstrong and able to achieve anything she put her mind to by herself – but when it came to us grandchildren she had the ability to drop everything and make us feel like we were the only people in her world. As an adult, I appreciate that it’s easier to be a fantastic grandmother than a mother but it hasn’t stopped me from trying to create that feeling for our own children.
As your life has progressed, have your role models changed?
I have a very small friendship circle that hasn’t changed for decades and as much as I knew I loved them all for varying reasons, I’ve really grown to admire them individually, even more so in recent years. Maybe it’s because I know their personal stories, but I’m literally filled with awe at what they’ve each achieved as adults, the values they’ve clung onto (that get harder to live by as you get older) and I find myself very often saying things like, “What would Chloe do in this situation… how would Kristian approach this?” etc. So, I would add my best friends to the new roster of my role models.
What’s the best advice you have ever been given?
I wasn’t ‘given’ this information but I stumbled across it recently and it perfectly sums up something I try to live by and we try our hardest to instil in the kids. It goes “I have already settled it for myself so flattery and criticism go down the same drain and I am quite free.” ― Georgia O'Keefe
I’m still working that out myself but having fun in the process. Much of what I currently do is a happy accident, with much of what I plan to do stifled away until the timing is right, so it always feels a bit strange describing myself.
Growing up, who were your role models? And how did they influence you?
I don’t remember having specific role models, but my maternal Grandma always lived her life in a way that I couldn’t wait to emulate. She toed the line between being a fiercely passionate individual – headstrong and able to achieve anything she put her mind to by herself – but when it came to us grandchildren she had the ability to drop everything and make us feel like we were the only people in her world. As an adult, I appreciate that it’s easier to be a fantastic grandmother than a mother but it hasn’t stopped me from trying to create that feeling for our own children.
As your life has progressed, have your role models changed?
I have a very small friendship circle that hasn’t changed for decades and as much as I knew I loved them all for varying reasons, I’ve really grown to admire them individually, even more so in recent years. Maybe it’s because I know their personal stories, but I’m literally filled with awe at what they’ve each achieved as adults, the values they’ve clung onto (that get harder to live by as you get older) and I find myself very often saying things like, “What would Chloe do in this situation… how would Kristian approach this?” etc. So, I would add my best friends to the new roster of my role models.
What’s the best advice you have ever been given?
I wasn’t ‘given’ this information but I stumbled across it recently and it perfectly sums up something I try to live by and we try our hardest to instil in the kids. It goes “I have already settled it for myself so flattery and criticism go down the same drain and I am quite free.” ― Georgia O'Keefe
You’re mum to two girls (aged 5 and 3) and a baby boy (7 months) – what’s your approach to role-modelling as ‘mum’ and more broadly as a woman?
I’m one of the eldest in quite a large group of siblings so I’ve always understood the importance of leading by example, but when I left home relatively young, it felt like a weight off my shoulders and I didn’t have to always be hyper-conscious of my actions. Fast forward nine years to when I first became a mum and I no longer viewed being a ‘role model’ as a burden but more a huge privilege. I know just how crucial these formative years are and I want to (along with my husband) give my children the absolute best start in life. That means holding myself to a super high standard when I’m around them, which sounds draining but for someone like me with wayward tendencies, it’s been a great lesson in restraint and compassion.
Has your position as a role model to them ever weighed heavy?
Not at all.
What are the key lessons you hope to instil in your children?
Kindness, confidence and integrity. They’re buzzwords we hear so much that they very quickly lose their meaning but I think when all those traits come together it’s a great foundation for an emerging character.
As your children grow and start to make decisions a bit more independently, is it hard to balance your expectations against giving them the freedom of self-expression?
Absolutely not. Everything that my husband J and I consciously do is to provide nourishing foundations but we know in each child – according to their personalities – that will manifest in very different ways. We really do love seeing little glimpses of their strong characters developing so there’s no expectations on our side.
I’m one of the eldest in quite a large group of siblings so I’ve always understood the importance of leading by example, but when I left home relatively young, it felt like a weight off my shoulders and I didn’t have to always be hyper-conscious of my actions. Fast forward nine years to when I first became a mum and I no longer viewed being a ‘role model’ as a burden but more a huge privilege. I know just how crucial these formative years are and I want to (along with my husband) give my children the absolute best start in life. That means holding myself to a super high standard when I’m around them, which sounds draining but for someone like me with wayward tendencies, it’s been a great lesson in restraint and compassion.
Has your position as a role model to them ever weighed heavy?
Not at all.
What are the key lessons you hope to instil in your children?
Kindness, confidence and integrity. They’re buzzwords we hear so much that they very quickly lose their meaning but I think when all those traits come together it’s a great foundation for an emerging character.
As your children grow and start to make decisions a bit more independently, is it hard to balance your expectations against giving them the freedom of self-expression?
Absolutely not. Everything that my husband J and I consciously do is to provide nourishing foundations but we know in each child – according to their personalities – that will manifest in very different ways. We really do love seeing little glimpses of their strong characters developing so there’s no expectations on our side.
You and your family have a very distinctive (and beautiful!) style. As your children grow and start to make their own decisions about style, is there any guidance or encouragement you’ll give them?
Much of how we dress as a family was never meant to be ‘stylish’, I’m also well aware that much of what we wear happens to be in fashion currently but it wasn’t a couple of years ago and it certainly won’t be next year. It’s important to me that the kids wear clothing that is age appropriate, well made, with plenty of room to grow and of course, comfortable enough to not restrict free play. It’s a personal choice of mine to avoid logos and obviously branded clothing because I think for one, as a parent, I shouldn’t really be pushing an overt message on my child but with brands especially -I want to delay that inevitable obsession for as long as possible.
Your social media and blog presence depicts family life amongst other things. How important has it been for you to show your realities of family life? Particularly Black family life?
In the early days, that’s exactly what the account was about. My eldest was in a Montessori setting, I was investing in small ethical clothing brands and toys and I felt really quite excluded from those spaces as a Black mother because of the total lack of representation. I used my feed to challenge those spaces on how they could do better. At the same time I made a real effort to flood my timeline with us immersed in daily life to try to show an underrepresented example of Black family life to people who may not necessarily be in proximity to any Black families for one reason or another.
You’ve used your social media presence and blog, The Vitamin D Project, to open up conversations around post-natal depression, depression in general, and your own experiences with this. What spurred this?
My experience with PND after having my eldest was so debilitating that by the time I had ‘come up for air’, I still felt this very real trauma at the fact J and I had gone through that seemingly alone and were just supposed to get on with life now? Blogging about it started out as a way to heal from that ‘post’-trauma. I was in the midst of a work crisis that definitely heightened my PND. So much of what made me, me was my day job and to have that snatched away from me at such a financially and emotionally vulnerable time really tipped me over the edge. Short of having a day job to pour myself into, I channelled that energy into my newly created online space.
How did taking the first step to talk about your experiences of post-natal depression feel?
I did it in a bit of a cowardly way. My blog post was published on the first day of an extended trip abroad and I guess I just thought if it all goes a bit Pete Tong I can get rid of my socials and hide away in peace for a bit. But it really resonated with so many parents and was well received so that was quite overwhelming.
Much of how we dress as a family was never meant to be ‘stylish’, I’m also well aware that much of what we wear happens to be in fashion currently but it wasn’t a couple of years ago and it certainly won’t be next year. It’s important to me that the kids wear clothing that is age appropriate, well made, with plenty of room to grow and of course, comfortable enough to not restrict free play. It’s a personal choice of mine to avoid logos and obviously branded clothing because I think for one, as a parent, I shouldn’t really be pushing an overt message on my child but with brands especially -I want to delay that inevitable obsession for as long as possible.
Your social media and blog presence depicts family life amongst other things. How important has it been for you to show your realities of family life? Particularly Black family life?
In the early days, that’s exactly what the account was about. My eldest was in a Montessori setting, I was investing in small ethical clothing brands and toys and I felt really quite excluded from those spaces as a Black mother because of the total lack of representation. I used my feed to challenge those spaces on how they could do better. At the same time I made a real effort to flood my timeline with us immersed in daily life to try to show an underrepresented example of Black family life to people who may not necessarily be in proximity to any Black families for one reason or another.
You’ve used your social media presence and blog, The Vitamin D Project, to open up conversations around post-natal depression, depression in general, and your own experiences with this. What spurred this?
My experience with PND after having my eldest was so debilitating that by the time I had ‘come up for air’, I still felt this very real trauma at the fact J and I had gone through that seemingly alone and were just supposed to get on with life now? Blogging about it started out as a way to heal from that ‘post’-trauma. I was in the midst of a work crisis that definitely heightened my PND. So much of what made me, me was my day job and to have that snatched away from me at such a financially and emotionally vulnerable time really tipped me over the edge. Short of having a day job to pour myself into, I channelled that energy into my newly created online space.
How did taking the first step to talk about your experiences of post-natal depression feel?
I did it in a bit of a cowardly way. My blog post was published on the first day of an extended trip abroad and I guess I just thought if it all goes a bit Pete Tong I can get rid of my socials and hide away in peace for a bit. But it really resonated with so many parents and was well received so that was quite overwhelming.
Do you have any advice for anyone suffering with post-natal depression, maybe in silence?
This year especially, it is so, so difficult to receive adequate support for mental health issues but help is available and you are deserving enough to fight for it. If you have even just a few concerns about whether what you’re experiencing is more than just ‘the baby blues’, reach out to a friend or partner that can advocate on your behalf. When you’re in that headspace and a medical professional doesn’t give you the immediate help you need it can be such a devastating blow, but having someone you trust that can advocate and ‘petition’ your needs on your behalf is invaluable.
You have a very unique approach to social media usage – one with defined boundaries! Can you tell us more about that and why you made that change?
For a long time, I was giving so much of myself to social media and I truly felt like the negatives far outweighed the good. There seemed to be this real expectation from both businesses and followers alike that because I had flagged the need to be educated on anti-racism for example, that I must be the one to deliver that. At any time that suited them. In any way that suited them. And when I dared challenge that, I was frequently met with manipulation in the form of guilt for not helping people that ‘wanted to learn’. Boundaries, for me, have been essential in allowing me to continue showing up in this space daily, but on my own terms. So, I have rules in place that allow both my followers and businesses that interact with me to do so in a way that we’re all happy with. I also really respect when someone (having read my boundaries), comes to the decision that actually, my page probably isn’t for them and they’d rather follow an account that doesn’t have any restrictions. (As long as they leave without announcing it!)
Which of your role models will you be buying a token of appreciation for this Mother’s Day? If you could gift them one Anthropologie item, what would it be and why?
I’ve already packed up the gorgeous Liberty PJs I wore on the shoot and sent them up to my lovely Grandma up in West Yorkshire. We’re both long-time Liberty addicts and where she has had to shield for the better part of a year due to illness, the least I can do is allow her to feel a bit fancier as she dots about the house.
This year especially, it is so, so difficult to receive adequate support for mental health issues but help is available and you are deserving enough to fight for it. If you have even just a few concerns about whether what you’re experiencing is more than just ‘the baby blues’, reach out to a friend or partner that can advocate on your behalf. When you’re in that headspace and a medical professional doesn’t give you the immediate help you need it can be such a devastating blow, but having someone you trust that can advocate and ‘petition’ your needs on your behalf is invaluable.
You have a very unique approach to social media usage – one with defined boundaries! Can you tell us more about that and why you made that change?
For a long time, I was giving so much of myself to social media and I truly felt like the negatives far outweighed the good. There seemed to be this real expectation from both businesses and followers alike that because I had flagged the need to be educated on anti-racism for example, that I must be the one to deliver that. At any time that suited them. In any way that suited them. And when I dared challenge that, I was frequently met with manipulation in the form of guilt for not helping people that ‘wanted to learn’. Boundaries, for me, have been essential in allowing me to continue showing up in this space daily, but on my own terms. So, I have rules in place that allow both my followers and businesses that interact with me to do so in a way that we’re all happy with. I also really respect when someone (having read my boundaries), comes to the decision that actually, my page probably isn’t for them and they’d rather follow an account that doesn’t have any restrictions. (As long as they leave without announcing it!)
Which of your role models will you be buying a token of appreciation for this Mother’s Day? If you could gift them one Anthropologie item, what would it be and why?
I’ve already packed up the gorgeous Liberty PJs I wore on the shoot and sent them up to my lovely Grandma up in West Yorkshire. We’re both long-time Liberty addicts and where she has had to shield for the better part of a year due to illness, the least I can do is allow her to feel a bit fancier as she dots about the house.